Gitchee Gumee, Round 3

Now having somewhat of veteran status at the annual Gitchee Gumee Brewfest in Superior, Wisconsin, with three years of experience, I can now say that I have mastered the ins and outs of this particular brewfest. How can I be so sure you say? How can I be so confident in the mastering of this brewfest. I base my thinking on one particular area, the VIP Pizza stand. Prior to this year, my visit would always be the same. I drunkenly sneak up to the stand and cunningly try to steal a slice of pizza. Somehow, I'm not sure why since I was so deft with my moves, but somehow, I'd always get caught. Then I'd apologize and start to bargain. I'd start off low, "2 pieces for a dollar", I'd say. "1 slice for $3", they'd counter. "2 pieces for $2" I'd then say. "No, 1 slice for $3" they'd counter. I pride myself on my bargaining skills. The key as I see it on being a remarkable bargainer is to never pay full price. "2 slices for $3" I'd say and the result was always the same at the yearly fundraiser, "1 slice for $3" they'd say. It would go on and on until I'd be asked to leave the stand. It seems that these bargaining amateurs could never handle my skills and would just crumble under the pressure and at a last resort, before I'd probably buy the whole stand for $8.23, they'd kick me away. It would always feel good knowing that at the brewfest, I was the king of haggling, but it was a bummer not having any pizza, especially since this brewfest is a four hour tour of 4oz beers. You can't help but get a little hungry during it. So knowing my trials and tribulations of years past, I came into the 11th annual Gitchee Gumbee Brewfest with a plan that would not fail. Since last year's brewfest, I'd seen a few movies that gave me an idea. Now, the movies will go nameless since my recollection is of story lines, not of how the library would file it. The first movie had Batman and his twin doing magic, the other movie had Edward Norton doing some "there's nothing up my sleeves" moves, as well. So I figured that would be my course of action here, slight of hand. I strolled into UW-Superior's Wessman Arena feeling a little cocky, a little thirsty, and oozing a tab bit of trickery. I made a lap around the arena. It may have looked like I was sampling beers, and I was, but really, I was just casing the joint. Danial Ocean would have been proud. In time, I approached the VIP Pizza stand. What may have looked like volunteer pizza stand workers to you, were obviously astute guards who were not as busy as they seemed. As one approached me to take my order, I thought back to the magician's standard, Shock and Awe. In this case, the Shock was Beerfest Pete, actually pulling out his wallet to by beer. The Awe was that, as the worker was blindsided by my order of two slices for $6 and the cash in hand, three paper plates holding each, one slice of pizza, became two paper plates holding each, one slice of pizza. Yes, it seems that there will be $3 less being given to the Douglas County Search and Rescue this year. Suckers.