KFS:BadAssMotherF*cker

If I read this CNN story right, and I have every reason to believe that I did, thousands in China have been trying to fight off the dreaded, Kung Fu Soldier of ancient Japanese lore. Once thought to be almost Batmanish in reality, Kung Fu Soldier is as real as a Dojo. The proof is in the photo. Standing on a pile of dead communist looms Kung Fu Soldier, ready to pounce like a simamese cat. Know around the American nations as Karate and Jujitsu, Kund Fu Soldier is a master of all fighting style. That's right, every fighting style, meaning everything from, say, Jujitsu to, say, Karate. So after laying dormat for all this years, what made Kung Fu Soldier reappear to fight all comers? A close soucre to Mr. Soldier has inform me, in a Pete's Failed Money Maker exclusive, that the reason is that China has just really started to suck in recent years. He believed that although China has always sucked, the last few months, they've started sucking at a whole new level. How long Kung Fu Soldier remains in China beating ass remains a mystery but this much you can be sure of, despite his return, China will still suck tomorrow, and the next day, and that day after that, probably will suck forever. But do NOT go away thinking that Kung Fu Soldier is fighting a battle that cannot be won here, go away thinking that China's mass produced children toys are dangerous, shoddy, and taste like lead.